Ever notice how one day can be utterly fantastic, everything goes right, you almost feel like you could take over the world…..then just a couple of days later it rains and pours and everything that could go wrong goes even worse. Weird? Life is a funny bitch. You gotta take the good with the bad…you know, I get that. I have one question though. Please tell me why in the world does it seem to come in 24 hour increments? Can’t we get an equal mix of good and bad to even out the day?

But funny thing about it…not about life, but about me…I’m way too strong to get hung up on anything. Any obstacles that get in my path, I just jump over ‘em and keep on walking.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It also makes you a helluva lot smarter. One stupid decision can bring on a whole load of great ideas and motivation.

So life, though you may be a funny little bitch, you ain’t got squat on me. Cause whatever you try and throw at me, I’m gonna deal with it and always come out on top.

~Another deep thought by Danica. Putting the sync in idiosyncrasy since 1968~

I wrote this in April of 2009. Little did I know then how much of a challenge it would be staying true to myself and these words over the course of  the past two years. Absolutely amazing.

I’ve heard it said that ignorance is bliss. I truly believe that. It was a year and four months after my diagnosis of having a Chiari I Malformation that I wrote those words. Little did I know the challenges I had met were mild in comparison to those that would come soon thereafter.

Here I sit three years and four months after my diagnosis with less questions and more answers than I started with, but I do not feel any wiser…nor do I feel any better. Instead of dwelling on those things; however, I do feel stronger, more informed, and better equipped to handle what life throws my way.

I’ve lost friends along the way. I’ve managed to strengthen other friendships. And I’ve made tons of new friends. Life is a funny bitch. No doubt. I’ve heard it said many times that the friendships lost as a result of my disorder weren’t really friends…I am not sure if I buy that. I think some people are so insecure with themselves that it is impossible for them to understand the idiosyncrasies that evolve within people like me…people with brain disorders. I wish that knowledge was enough to make the pain less painful, but it isn’t…I just simply try to move on…and I often reflect on the emptiness left by those who made an obvious impression on my life. I am grateful for the good times and grateful that some how life seems to sort out the people who should be in our lives and those who shouldn’t. No matter how much pain it causes, I know deep down that the people who have chosen to no longer be part of my life because they couldn’t handle me at my worst…really have no business being in my life. And it’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to long to have them back. What’s not okay is trying to force them back there. I’m glad I know the difference.

Today, I am sitting in a totally different state…in a totally different city…in a totally different life than I had three months ago. The changes and transformations in my life over the past three months have been monumental.  Not only physical changes and transformations have occurred. There have been major emotional and mental transformations as well. Yep. Life is a funny bitch. I knew each day where I was going, what was going to happen, when I would arrive back home, and who would be there waiting for me. In other words, there were rarely any surprises. Today is full of surprises though. Each new day is exactly that…brand spanking new. I have no idea what I’m doing, where I’m going, or what is going to happen. I only know that in the end, I’m going to be okay. In other words, I know me.

So life, I know you’ve got me down right now…and I’m gonna let you have your fun. Just remember, it’s ME you are dealing with…The Divine Ms. M. Remember, I’m entirely too strong to get hung up on anything and whatever you decide to throw at me…any obstacles that get in my way, I’m just gonna jump right over ‘em and keep on walking…looking back only to laugh at your stupidity. As long as I still have a morning to wake up to, I’m going to take the punches and learn from them because it IS true that what doesn’t kill us does make us stronger and it makes us a helluva lot smarter. I’ve made plenty of stupid decisions, but I know that from each of these stupid decisions that I’ve found plenty of motivation and I’ve gotten tons of great ideas. Remember life, you ain’t got squat on me…those words were true two years ago and they are true today. Whatever you try and throw at me, I WILL deal with it and I will ALWAYS come out on top!!

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